They cook live seafood in that place… Norway people scientifically proved that a free range “happy” salmon tastes better than an aquarium one. It’s just amazing how whatever I do in this facken kitchen I have somebody teaching me a different way to do. They try to look like sick cunts by going fast and always cut themselves. I love it.

Tonight a little poofta waiter gave me a live lobster and told me to cut it in half. The bitch was fighting like a bloody Spartan. I finally got it down to the chopping board and, of course, the headchef came up to show me his way. When his finger got caught in between the lobby’s claws I thought for a split second that it was worth going to work for once. He was cut, I was clueless, the little pussy guy did it himself. The halves of that yummy thing were still moving… I couldn’t believe it! All that stress, in theory, would make it taste like shit. Some rich guy was still paying $100 for it though.

The bottom line is, if you ever become a cannibal, make sure you eat only unemployed single people, and shoot them in the head without warning.

Pic: just another creation originated by my endless boring classes