Nectar

There was the heaviest rain a couple of days ago, the day tuned into night.. at 5 pm it looked like midnite, but an hour later this sick scenario came up.
what a freakin stunning shot from the boy's balcony..
Been sunny since then, I broke my fin 2 days ago at snapper.. using a 6'2 now. had One of the best sessions of the year this morning at that secret spot down south..
It's not that I don't find a job, it's the job that doesn't seem to find me!

There's been like 3 barbecues a day.. can't believe I'm still not back to work!
pretty random shit, good fun every day and night.. it's funny cause everyday is someone's welcome or farewell or birthday, haha.

Look at that little empty right-hander, poor bitch, not loved because of its colour... But not only really, some guys actually tried to get into her pants, but her boyfriend "undertoe" pushed them all down the line.. They all hooked up with That hoe called Rainbow, who is a little fatter but takes it good!

Meanwhile in Hawaii..
Ian is gone nuts, what can I say about this kid? look at this Banzai Monster he pulled in January!

We had a fair bit of rain lately and things got ugly down here for a few days..
Thats's snapper totally takes by decomposing alghi.
That frothy thing makes anyone look like they are made of shit!
Good to have things back to normal now..

Mayhem

I’m sitting where I belong now…

It is hard to go against who we are. Some do it for others, either a special person or the society as a whole. However, the only real way to self development is self satisfaction, simply because we are the only ones entitled to determine what self development itself stands for, so never go to war, especially with yourself.

For 21 months, I couldn’t hear myself think. My days and nights consisted in coerced energy consuming activities aiming towards a goal. As endless as they seemed, they did not go forever. I would look forward for a moment of relaxation, when I could sit back and evaluate the big picture. Those never came. Rather than that, my personal time was filled with distress and tail chasing.

As a result, I accumulated an enormous load of not analyzed experience. It is somewhat like spending a whole year without saving any acquired information when you work at an office. You can never retrieve it. In the other hand, the tightness of my relationship with this one person twisted my brains to the point I left my attitude and personality behind. I’m not sure if the ideal of love is to be as one, but if that means leaving everyone and everything else out of your life then I hope it’s not.

I assume she was going though something rather similar. It took less than a month for us to realize that we weren’t going anywhere, but we just couldn’t let go. A remarkable characteristic of the male in a relationship is the inability to end it. An everlasting concern about the partner’s well being stops us from prioritizing ourselves.

I was telling all my friends about being on the brink of singleness for over a year now. But it took her going to Europe to be convinced it was the best. I most certainly saw that coming from the date the ticket was bought, but having the patience to wait for her to take such resolution was being nicer that I needed to be.

As predicted, we were over from the moment she stepped foot in the country. Slightly ironic because even though this was so obviously going to happen, something was telling me to have another go, since I missed her during that time.

Photo: There is an expression in Portuguese language that says: -"I'm so lost I don't know if I get married or if I buy a pushbike." It never made any sense to me until just then, when i realized that keeping it simple is the way to go. The best way to do it is by being where u love, so all u really need is a pushbike, if even, since the fun lies within walking distance (D-bah, Snapper, Calypso, Coolie Hotel, Kirra). But that kind of freedom is best enjoyed as a single. When there is no wife, kids, girlfriend, you don't live with parents or whatever, life is much like playing GTA... You just do what your balls tells you to. I guess boys will be boys..

I do know how it works and understand where that feeling came from as well as where it was going… as the one that stayed by myself in the place we habited for the past 8 months, it was natural I would be living basically the same little miserable life going to the same job I couldn’t take anymore and sleeping in the same goddamn bed. Meanwhile, she was half way across the globe doing who knows what. This was essential to put us in balance, therefore in a fair position to split.
Photo: Sean and I at work. We went through some pretty full on situations in that kitchen throghout the past 5 months.. will miss u lump!

It did not take long for me to get over that willingness to try again, maybe about 2 hours, not many questions and no tears. Although I always do think about other chicks when the talk is about breaking up, this time I focused on where to live, when and how to move, and even where to work next. I designed a master plan which in spite of being of extremely short-term, it covered every possible aspect of my life. Not much remained the same after that.
Photo: Our old place is as good as gone. moving the fridge, bed, washing machine, desks and everything else down that narrow 2 level stairway was interesting.

When you make a plan like this there are things you totally depend on and others that would be nice to achieve. In this case I depended on a number of things, but was willing to sweep any obstacles under the rug as long as I was where I wanted. The priority was certainly accommodation, and I was as picky as I should about location. Sitting here watching the dusk at Snapper is the biggest reward I could have earned. I have always been extremely confident when it comes to finding jobs, although that part has not yet been fulfilled. It’s not like I’m in a rush to be quite honest.
Photo: Diva cruising at mellow snapper. The banks have been pretty soft, but the consistency of swell sure makes up for it.

I would find it a little hard to try to describe how good it is to be here. It makes me wonder if it really was much of her fault. But considering that I wouldn’t have the time or inspiration to write this in the circumstances I was before, I guess I am a solo flyer. What we got here is a combination of factors. Being just single, not working and right where I belong has granted me a rare, vibrant inner atmosphere. It hurts me to know it’s temporary though.
Photo: Ok, maybe that shot can express it to a certain extent. Since I got no shots over the moon looking at Coolie what about a photo seconds before tackling My beloved Kangaroo? Dinner with the boys at mine last night.

I don’t usually write about happy things, but just for the record… Surfing? That’s been my real muse throughout my whole life. Right now, I can only think of a few words to describe it… Mayhem, Galore, Frenzy! This is holly ground to me; it’s more than Mecca to Muslin people. Forget the fact that both the male and female world champions are from here, forget how high the level is or for how long the waves go. What it means to me goes beyond any of these features, it involves subjective aspects that can be understood by some, but how it all closes as a perfect harmony in every sense could not be on the scope of another human being. I am absolutely aware of how not special I am though. If I was the only one in love with this piece of land named Coolangatta it wouldn’t be so bloody crowded.
Photo: adored by (too?) many, D-bah has got an infinite amount of juice to feed us mortals.

It’s like I’ve chosen to go to a certain university because of a girl I was in love with, and for 4 years I had this platonic relationship with her. The only days I felt alive were the days I saw her. The only moments to be remembered are the ones we talked, walked and laughed together. She was the only reason for me to be there, the fuel for me to tackle a whole degree. Throughout my studies I did all I could to spend time with her, but this degree was a lot more demanding than what I expected. I was hoping she wouldn’t give up on me, all I wanted was to get all that crap out of the way and be with her. I am now at the dying stages of this journey, and finally we hooked up. In fact, I scored!! And we moved in together. The sex with her was divine, more than kinky, just pure chemistry flowing loose through our bodies. Silk smooth at times, full on hardcore at others, we did it all. It’s like we’ve trained for 100 yeas to get to that level, but we’ve only been together for a week. Coolangatta is her name. Australia is the university and I’m the kid in love.
Photo: Trippy carousel action down in byron... that's probably the sort of art only the author understands and appreciates..

I still have 4 weeks to go to get my Diploma in Hospitality Management, but even if there were 5 years in front of me I would not worry a bit being where I am. Photo: 1 thing I sure will be taking for life from this course is the Hability & addiction to cook at home.

Have I mentioned my friends? Ok, this town is taken by Brazilians. Not really only us, there are heaps of Japs, kiwis and Aussies too, of course. The point is we are all after the same. I rather being in an unspoken competition with people genuinely like me than in a war against myself and the world trying to be who I am not. The atmosphere down here is not even closely as heavy as I expected considering the crowds. The beauty of it is the aggressive number of female surfers seen here.
Photo: Conrado sharing a wave with a Kayak dude at Fingal.

All in all I guess I could affirm we all get on pretty well. I have more friends here at the moment than I had in the past 21 months put together. Having my own quiet space and at the same time living just a stroke from about 7 different party pads gives me the option to spend my time literally in the atmosphere I please. I’m living with a couple from Denmark, they are ridiculously nice. If you could design ideal flatmates that would be it. I don’t usually get on with people I live with due to my need of being all alone when I’m home, but they are just too cool. Plus our pad is right on the hill to D-bah! They go surfing 5 times a day, sometimes it makes me feel like I don't surf enough, haha. I still haven't worked out if Snapper or Duranbah is closer.. Fuck I’m stoked!
Photo: Gotta love waking up to this bitch! D-bah in late january.

I might be here until may, when I apply for my thing, then there will be time to leave the Goldie for a couple of months after 2 years straight here.. I wish I could just go with the flow, but till the end of this year I gotta be more systematic than a 3000 pieces watch.

A sick Kirra pit on the 2nd of Feb

A girl Surfing kirra yesterday. It's amazing how they just get hotter and hotter and surf better and better!